Aaron Schmidt, Enghien les Bains, 2002 Aaron Schmidt, New York, 1998 Aaron Schmidt, Paris, 2002 Aaron Schmidt, Atlanta, 2001 Aaron Schmidt, Atlanta, 2001 Aaron Schmidt, Epinay sur Seine, 2003 Aaron Schmidt, Enghien les Bains, 2002 Aaron Schmidt, Sancerre, 2002

Thoughts and Dreams of Aaron Schmidt

This is the online journal of Aaron Schmidt where he records his thoughts (when they seem relevant) and his dreams (when he can remember them).

11 May 2004 BMI 19.75

I just tested my Body Mass Index and I came screaming in at 19.75. That's 0.25 under the ideal weight and resting comfortable in the "Endurance Athelete" category.

Okay, so the category is actually titled "Underweight or endurance athelete", but I can run pretty far if the need arises, so I think that explains everything pretty well.

Aurélie's running around claiming that I am underweight (she even wrote an email to my parents calling for help!) but she doesn't know the truth! Not the real truth.

... and neither do I.

09 May 2004 Please close the door

We are currently conducting experiments into the life cycle of the sac fungi, Ascomycota. This study is a scientific response to the question of “High to moderate temperature spoils on a full fledged Artal fungi” proposed by Kravitz & Hutch, 1992.

Temperature stability is critial to our experiments, as fungi react violently to even the slightest change in temperature. A fluctuation of 2-3°C (when located within 750m of sea-level) can cause deterimental stunting of growth and restriction of available oxygen to the growth bed. Must fungi will not survive if a breach of 7°C is reached.

The tiny bodies which discolor and decay some wood belong to an enormous group of factories. Incapable to produce their appropriate supply, molds will feed instead on a vaste range of natural substances such as the leather, the tissue, the rattan, the paper and the wood.

The most effective method to prevent fungal deterioration is to expose it to the sandbank method. Humidity levels between 6% and 16% can force fungi to cycle into their winter stage. We have attempted to recreate this winter stage by applying the Greedy Tricycle theorem: “Body to spin, to spin, to spin.” This, however, only accounts for 68% of the total growth market in a healthy, stabile sac fungi.

We appreciate your consideration in this matter and any inconvienence caused will be tracked back to the appropriate owner, resulting in the full distribution of rock and slide.

Sincerely,

The Tech Support Team

21 April 2004 Macgyver and me

Crazy dream last night.

It starts off in the parking lot of a local convenience store where I'm preforming lab experiments with Macgyver (yes, the one and only!). So Macgyver and me were inside a scientific lab that had the shape of a giant Erlenmeyer Flask and was big enough to support the two of us with all our labratory equipment. The lab walls were made of a thick, non-transparent plastic and there was a thin, glass window that wrapped around the entire circumference of the flask. There were no doors, but a single ladder climbed up the wall side to the opening at the top, sealed by a submarine hatch door.

So here we are, average day in the lab with Macgyver and me, when all of sudden we receive an alert. The telescreen lights up to display our arch-nemesis Kevin Spacey who announces that he will destroy us once and for all!! Evil laugh, then Spacey is gone.

Our labratory begins to quickly fill with water and before we know it, Flask Lab is completely submerged. Macgyver and me swim around trying to find a way out. Nearby, I discover a small rubber pipe plugged into one of our data display screens. The pipe contains a small amount of oxygen. I take a breath and then pass the pipe to Macgyver, who politely refuses the offer. I remember being very impressed with Macgyver's ability to breathe underwater in stressful situations.

At this point Macgyver has figured out a way to unscrew the bolts holding down the submarine hatch. I come to his assistance and within a few minutes, we are able to push the hatch open. (During this time, I was forced to return to the pipe for oxygen but Macgyver never faltered ... incredible!)

After escaping we drive over to Spacey's headquarters (which has a strange resemblance to my office here in Paris). A number of my friends from work are sitting around playing the card game President. I've always been pretty good at the game so I sit down to play a few hands.

The cards are very similar to a standard deck of cards with numbers from 1-9 and the different suits, but in addition to this there are different words written on all the cards. The words were not in English or French but rather random sound combinations (like neero or flik). So as the turn went around the table, each player had to match the suit, the number, or the word.

My turn comes up and I notice I have the card 8 of spades with the word "terino". The current card card on the table is the 3 of hearts "terenizo" and I'm wondering if my word matches or not? How close do they have to be?!

Macgyver is telling me to hurry the fuck up but I can't decide. Then Spacey comes into the room and becons for me to follow him. He does this very calmly like he is just another colleague from work trying to help me out of this uncomfortable situation where I don't know how to play the game.

He tells me we can go and talk in the piano room. Sure enough, this room has a piano and I immediately sit down and start to play. I feel so happy and so free and nothing matters anymore. After a little while, Spacey smiles and says "You don't know how to play, do you?" I look at him, a little confused and a little hurt.

He clarifies, "Terino ... you don't know how to play the game..."

"Oh, yah ... no, I don't know."

"I can teach you."

... and the dream ends with me playing piano, happy and content.
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